Divinely Inspired
Heretically Approved
Can't find the Holy Graal?
Need some help to crack that ‘Templar Treasure’ code? Commoners think your family shouldn’t be treated as Royalty?
Have an old family rumour and some directions left by great great great grandfather to find a lost treasure?
Then just call:
Since 1995 Treasures R Us have been tirelessly seeking out that most famous of lost treasures; a cache of vessels and furniture from the Temple of Jerusalem. Yes, the Ark of the Covenant, the Emerald Cup of Abraham, the huge jewel studded Temple Menorah and other assorted implements used by the Priests in the Temple during biblical times. Treasures R Us have been traversing the world gathering pertinent information and storing it in the vast archives at Treasures R Us headquarters. This ‘Top Secret’ archive is now open to the public and Treasures R Us is ready to work for YOU!
Then simply consult Treasures R US!
No more endless hours trying to solve that enigma you read about in a book written by someone who couldn’t find their way out of a supermarket carpark
Thousands of satisfied customers testify to the new lease of life they have gained after discovering the services of Treasures R Us. Read some of what they have to say:
Queen Victoria Saxe Coburg Gotha
“I was worried that no one was taking my family seriously as the Kings and Queens of England. Now we can recover the Temple Treasure and show all that though we might be continental interlopers we deserve the right to rule England as much as the locals. We are more than amused.”
Pierre Plantard de St Clair
“We were hopelessly lost until we consulted Treasures R Us. It was calmly explained how much we goofed up and now we are back on track. Mon Dieu! ‘Blue Apples’, how stupid, what were we thinking?”
Leonardo da Vinci
“I was getting rung up all hours of the night about some bloody code I had nothing to do with. Now I can finally get some sleep. Thanks Treasures R Us.”
Shimur the Levite
“Oy Vey! Finally someone gets it. I told them, I told them! Zechariah, son of the Ido Prophet, I said, ‘Don’t go burying it all and leaving the details on a Copper Scroll, no one will find it again’. Did they listen? Did they? What a schlemossel. You know what happened next?”
(Full letter available on request)
Emperor Hirohito
“They told me I was the Divine Emperor which seemed okay. Then they tried to say I was really Jewish because some treasure was on Mt Akagi. This did not sound right but I was too polite to argue. I wish to express my gratitude to Treasures R Us for saving the people of Japan and I any further race related embarrassment.”
Joseph Smith
“Now I can just tell everyone I was searching for the Treasure of the Temple following a Masonic legend rather than that crazy story about an angel named Moroni and a box with some gold plates in it, not that anyone really believed it anyway.”
“Book your appointment withTreasures R Us consultant today. Free assessments of your local lost treasure myth.
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